It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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