i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
