East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
