...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
honey bunches of taint.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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