Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
