so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
