The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
