I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
