Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
NoShamevember. You game?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
