dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
