You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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