Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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