If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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