well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
