have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
