so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
