So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i think my cat just said my name.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
