His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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