This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just pee around me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
