Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
