At least make sure they are 18
Why
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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