Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
