I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
