dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
