So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
