i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
