just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize