I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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