I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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