My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
