Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
