Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
