? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
