life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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