I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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