She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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