You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
