Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
