You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
