Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
