please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My pussy is not your playground.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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