You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
