other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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