He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
