Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
