note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
