I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
