Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
