yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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