Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
